Is it wrong to beat off to a girl to determine if you like her or not?
you were stealing lawn gnomes and punching cars. I'm not surprised you got arrested.
I have started doing my homework in bars. It just feels right.
I think whatever his name is just puked on the stairs. Just an fyi for the morning. Love you.
Why am I a bad person? You were the one trying to get people to eat tape.
I'm functioning at the level of a challenged walrus.
you want your laptop back?
are you giving me my laptop back, or cashing in on our break up sex?
both.
come over.
Why can't I live in a world where my only 2 options are rum bikini hot tub party or masturbating?
You have my approval. I will dance and throw skittles at your funeral.
Dude I'm about to just roll over and piss off the side of my bed, rather than make the conscious effort to get up and walk to the bathroom. One of those hangovers.
Where are you in relation to the mariatchi band?
Life update - currently drunk off my ass in the yoga room of SFO at 5:30 in the morning.
bought a large fruitopia from McDonalds at 7:45 this morning. Spilled it on the ground. Cried. THAT hungover.
You literally brought me back to life and then fucked it out of me
We had an argument over whether or not she had super strength. She settled it by dragging me to the bed room and throwing me on the bed. Then forcefully fucking me. She won the argument.
Randomize
