hi i'm bored and kind of... in a sort of dirty mood
pics
no i'm at a mixer dressed up as the teenage mutant ninja turtles
I'm gonna answer everything she says with 'cum on da face' until she breaks up with me...great idea or greatest idea?
I kept grabbing at Stephanie's boobs because I thought the leopard spots on her dress were popcorn.
On the bright side since it was a Tuesday you weren't even in jail for the long! that could've been worse!
Just read my long term horoscope. I'm not gonna get laid for another 2 years.
She screams like she's just fallen out of a helicopter when she cums.
Maybe. This hangover is made of nightmares and that thing from the Alien movies.
Rule of thumb; if you ask me if my tits are fake you will not get to touch them.
He woke up in a dragon costume, covered in bong water. That was a party we will regret missing.
He doesn't drink liquor so instead of doing a body shot off my belly button he dropped water in there and sipped it out with a straw. Look at my face: =|
Does your Fitbit monitor your liver failure?
we will now reference it as "the infamous double dick night"
Lol, yeah it'll be fun,but will it be cereal and dick pics fun?
On a scale of 0 to Thanksgiving, there is no amount of food that fights against tequila.
You should not be involved with someone who smells like that. Because that smell seriously does not go away. Even if you can't actually smell it at any given point, it will still haunt you
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