Soo....this goes on the list of odd coincidences. My gyno calls me while I'm going at it, leaves me a message. I check it later... thank God I tested negative.
I think i really like him...he was super cuddly and kept me company.
stop. you already have a dog
Well, I fucked her. But the sex wasn't all that great. Morning sex never is
Thanks for putting the blue stuff in the toilet, it made me throwing up this morning more enjoyable.
my purse only fit my wallet or the martini shaker. it wasnt even a question of which i was bringing.
they named it eva bongoria. i had to hit it based on the name alone.
I just beer bonged. Soco and spite please get on my levvl my hair is in buns
You played "let it burn" by usher 28 times, knocked over the 36 gallon fish tank, and passed out in the kitchen. Yeah...That drunk.
81 degrees in april.... Thinking margaritacicles, you in?
If you don't get head tonight I will castrate you
Seriously. Castrate.
You forgot the part where I played Slip and Slide with my own puke and fucked up my knee.
I think you just miss his friendship.
I think it's his ability to give me multiple orgasms.
So you'd go straight for a fat chick with cheese on her tits?
Yes.
he showed me his third nipple on the first date. I might have low to no standards, but my god.
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like running into your ex boyfriend at the liquor store at 3 in the afternoon.
Randomize
