I just broke up with Liz. I feel awful so I put two free rentals on her Blockbuster account.
Wasted at the beach. Toasting underage, overdeveloped girls. God bless 'em.
No better way to find a friend than to offer cyber sex and see what happens
stephanie tanner's voice is so fucking annoying. no wonder she resorted to crystal meth.
Haha o man how much you've grown. From beer bonging wine and wearing cargo shorts to well, beer bonging beer and wearing cargo shorts
I kno. She bruised her chin trying to swim thru the hardwood floor.
Its funny how you denied every part of the text except " you hate fat ppl"
I owe you 20 bucks. My blood work did show liver damage.
All those movies are bullshit, there is no way to run down a line of parked cars, they`re too far apart. my faces hurts so much right now
I think i was just meant to be a stripper. A ballerina stripper cat
He told me he felt like he was just pistol-whipped by Testicle Man.
Also, my aunt grabbed my phone and downloaded the scriptures. Apparently I need Jesus.
He held my hair back for me while i vomited in my driveway last night and i repayed him by farting mid-heave.
i almost got into an argument defending my life choices with a guinea pig eating chocolate cake at 4am
Don't read too much into what I just sent. I love you, always have, but I'm drunk and sorry for the confusion.
Which part? The boyfriend or the sex?
Boyfriend. SEX IS ON!!!
Randomize
