people are starting to question the shark bite story
Have u Seen that eharmony commercial where the guy goes " I don't know how I could love her anymore, but tomorrow I will'. Yeah that guy should kill himself
Just dropped $150 at the liquor store. No power and two feet of snow has taken my alcoholism to another level.
Wow anytime a scalper has i need tix written on the back of a franzia box thats a trusted seller
he said it was like fucking a big sack of slut potatoes
when she started singing "you look better when im drunk" to my cat i realized it was time to take her home
You came back with four clearly unattractive women and wanted to throw a dance party in my room.
You are the worst substitute drug dealer ever
I've been living off of popsicles and broth.
Her roomates have been scoring her hookups. I got 8.9, best of the week!
when your 30 and im 37 and we're lonely and single, lets make a pact to murder each other.
I feel like I shouldn't have to explain to you why giving your cat weed was a bad idea.
You know what, don't even answer. Just promise me you'll go to the Corner of Shame when you get home.
And after peeing my pants waiting outside for him, i proceeded to drop down and roll in the nearest puddle to pretend like i just ate shit when he arrived
It was probably the most embarrassing moment of my life. But I had cleavage, so I'm good!
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