piano lessons. No girlfriend. What's up.
I don't want to talk about it. He was like the Little Engine that couldn't get me off.
Words of Wisdom: ordering a pitcher of whiskey cokes, putting a straw in it, and calling it your drink is not socially acceptable
well it doesn't count as a walk of shame if he drops you off at your class in his golf cart
She literally thanked me for asking before I put in her ass
He told me to pick a safe word. I said 'cactus' and he said I wasn't taking this seriously and that I wasn't cut out for s&m.
U shoulda just taken her to a stall and banged her and let me watch the game. Some friend u r.
I mean its not the first time I passed out drunk at barnes and noble.
I maybe just had sex outside in broad daylight. At a state park. Please be proud.
I just yelled at my mom for getting me circumcised without my permission. That drunk
His balls looked like two miss shaped chicken nuggets
Hey, don't think you remember me but we met last night. I'm conducting a survey this morning its only one question: Have you seen Rob since 1am?
How long can I keep it classy to hook up in my old office building? Two more years? Does it get weird after 30?
Not much, just taking another sorting hat quiz while waiting for this porno to finish buffering
I JUST WANT TO HAVE AWKWARD SEXUAL EXPERIENCES WITH HIM.
Randomize
