I have a masturbator in my 5th grade class. the teacher told me ever since they caught him humping the desk in 2nd grade, they haven't been able to control him. he's even on medication but he will just do it in class
why do all the strippers look like they came from fraggle rock
we saw a llama on the side of the road. That's when we knew everything was going to be alright.
She fucked me because she said I looked like Neil Patrick Harris
The bartender laughed but the manager kicked me out when the mom conplained. There's no way my fart harmed that baby in any way
Theres dried jager, barbecue sauce and frie remnants all over my front seat.
He wasn't lying when he said he was immune to pepperspray. He pretended it burned for like 12 seconds and told the cops he was kidding he was alright. We'll be there soon.
I'm sensing a Yuletide blow job in your future and by future I mean tomorrow
I may have unintentionally punched your cat twice but he's an asshole anyway.
I'm not asking for life coaching, I'm just asking if you know where I left my underpants.
Wait is this place where the strippers are missing teeth and I think one is missing a thumb? Though I don't know how she would maneuver on the pole without a thumb. Pls advise.
Yes be both agreed it was the worst sex in the history of fornication, so I asked him to sign the condom wrapper so I could frame it as a reminder to NEVER sleep with him again
Well, I was giving him a handy and I sighed in boredom. He heard. I had to fake moaning sounds after he asked if I sighed.
Why in the hell is there a guy dressed up as a horse passed out in our kitchen.
happy birthday!
You tried to see how many socks you can stuff in yor mouth and I just put on a damp sock. Is this what bestfriends have come to these days???
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