i think he might wanna be bffs again, but idk cause we're friends again but we haven't been bff since like a year. i don't know what to think...
wow. what a nail bitter. i need popcorn for this. brb
it sounds like her vocal chords are covered in pudding and rocks. come get me.
i googled waterboarding like you asked. as long as you do it outside. we have carpet. but i wont be a part of it.
Going stoned out of mind to my sociology exam because it's really just a pizza party. I love community college.
There are at least 3.6 billion human cocks in this world. Get some. Get as many as humanly possible. Literally. Do it. 1-2-3 go!
The sales associate looked at me funny for wobbling in the heels i was trying on until i told her i was trying to see how well i'd be able to drunk walk in these tonight
I whispered "you're doing a great Job" when he was fucking me. Then high fived him.
Just found a pack of birth control on the corner of Oakland and Thomas, so if your desperate its up for grabs.
Ok. Here's the plan. Take your hand (whichever is closest), summon all your nerve, and just stick it right down his pants.
I love you.
I'd rather blow Nickelback than be told he gave me gonorrhea. I'd even post it on Facebook for all of the world to like, share, and judge me.
Are we on the same shift tomorrow and more importantly do you want your pants back?
Let's be honest, I am pretty sketchy looking.
I'm not snubbing your weed I just had a really important rack of ribs to get home to
Do NOT approach him. He has sex with everything. LITERALLY everything, and I DO mean everything. He's so horny we once caught him with his dick in a pumpkin. A legitimate honest to God pumpkin that he bored a hole in
This drunk girl kept yelling for water so I dipped a cup in the toilet and gave it to her. She was thanking me all night.
Randomize
