She gave me a blow job and her mom gave me blueberry muffin afterwards. I love them.
I'm hoping that banging a 24 year old 3 times cancels out banging that freshman on Wednesday
just saw someone in just a bathrobe not even tied shut run to the bathroom with a facefull of cum. Someone had a good night
I don't remember anything past "we have 15 minutes to drink this keg."
Drunk me needs to be reminded of my sexual preferences.
at least it wasnt animals
She has either a C-Section scar or a bullet wound, I can't quite tell
tried to out drink an american air force weapons loader. never again
She sucks enough dick that I could make her mouth a legitimate Yelp location.
I just had to take a picture of someone whose testicles are bigger than my fists combined. Living the dream.
It took me half an hour to realize I didnt know them
You're about wine.
Yes, I'm like 90% wine at the moment
At least I got steroids and a baguette out of the deal
That reminds me of the morning I woke up on the sidewalk covered in chicken wings
All the doctor said was why
my roommates are pretty pissed at me. they sent me out for ice and i came back with a kitten.
Randomize
