Seriously, I'd take them all over any of the milfs here...and you know how much that means coming from me
Sexting assembly today. Fuck yes
I was looking at some smoking pipes on amazon the other day and realized that work people could look at my history and do a drug test. So I immediately started looking at Sherlock Holmes hats.
Do you recall us playing flip cup on your head?
they're both probably 7 inches? or 8? I'm shoving a ruler in my mouth trying to figure it out
Life for us students isn't all fun and drunken lesbian affairs you know
We had to take the hinges off the bathroom door. Needless to say, you are no longer welcome at that bar
I was just doing the math on how much beer we need for the houseboat. in doing so, I came to the conclusion that we need to open a beer distributor business.
seriously, i never want to drink Robitussin again. her face was melting as i tried to convince her i wasnt high and i probably would have fucked ray. his parents thought i was a sweet charming lesbian.
This is why you are not allowed out in public.
I shaved an Xmas tree into my junk.... I placed your present underneath.
Life achievement unlocked: I just ate a Slim Jim "Lady and the Tramp" style with a guy in a bar.
Your next boyfriend should be from MENSA...you're so smart, it's intimidating as fuck. My penis retracted in fear.
I honestly don't understand how your night went from singing a touching rendition of Africa to an angry political rant to low key trying to find a frat boy to bang to doing dishes to yoga
Me and my dad hot boxed a hotel bathroom... That's what I call father son bonding
Dude, she was there with her husband and I was there with my wife. Of course we banged in the bathroom.
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