I mean I can't believe yesterday ended w/ your house getting firebombed. What an unexpected turn of events
I'm like cupid
You're a whore with a bow and arrow
if i die of alcohol poisoning tonight, just know i kinda expected it and totally deserved it
His bond is $50,000..margarita Monday might get cancelled
I just need to know if he's either really genuine about being in my life or being in my vagina.
He said my labia gave my vagina a "cute personality"
My roomate asked me why she found condoms in the pringles container. I don't know what to tell her
You kept telling me how warm your bag of vomit was and asked me if i wanted to feel.
We listened to Rod Stewart Pandora and slow danced in the shower.
I threw away my jacket instead of washing it, the jungle juice stained me more of shame than red food coloring... i have never been that white girl wasted before...
I did not appreciate your texts about spanking at 3'o'clock this morning.
It's Reggie from Taco Bell, send me a pic.
It was great. We stayed up all night talking about objects he'd put in his theoretical vagina.
Never underestimate the power of titties
Complete and utter failure. 100% unsalvageable. I have not failed so hard at a culinary endeavor in YEARS. MY HONOR IS IMPUGNED I HAVE SHAMED MY HOUSE
Randomize
