I think I took your hangover as a birthday present
keep an eye on me. i'm afraid that after a few more drinks i'll ask to borrow his wheelchair.
oh, so if i go friday and she's there, you are going to be my sponsor for not banging the crazy chick
it wasn't until he got that douchey haircut that i started regretting sleeping with him
Everything was cool until I tried to photo bomb those Hells Angels, then it's all a blank
Sometimes i like to think we arent living together next year and that im living with models that like to experiment but you ruin that fantasy time and time again
If making out with three guys at once at a Kesha concert while simultaneously smearing glitter all over yourself doesn't convince her you're gay, nothing will
I just masturbated and watched youtube makeup videos, which was just an extension of masturbation.
I bought a box of wine on my way home. I figured if I’m going to be broke during the holidays, I might as well be able to drink about it.
You can either drink his whiskey or be a bitch. Doing both is just mean.
We both shit in the same closet in Santa Fe. Nothing is sacred anymore.
Did I fall last night?
I wouldn't call it falling as much as you tried to lay on the sidewalk and proceeded to hit it face first.
I just threw up in front of a bunch of parents/prospective students while they were on a campus tour..awesome..
I wish people could trade lives with me for a day so they could see how much better my life is compared to theirs
not even sure this counts as hungover but like my body can't exist in reality today
Randomize
