Contrary to popular belief alot of woman do actually enjoy sucking cock.
It's my fault I'm alone. My closest relationship is with my blackberry....thank god it vibrates.
Piggyback rides are my preferred mode of transportation.
So I missed her say 'don't' before 'come in me'. She felt what was happening and freaked - which actually made the moment 100x better.
got woken up at 7:30 by a drunk girl asking me where she was... apparently she slept on my futon
she was in a cheetah costume
I vaguely remember chanting "USA" at the pool when we were talking to the Frenchies.
We were pointing at fat people and chanting USA.
I know that was a dream because I woke up and there was no pizza
The hookers weren't a dream get tested
ATTENTION ALL CONTESTANTS OF SLUTFEST 2012 ; not only will we be judging on how many penis you have sucked but also girth and length will be calculated. If you are found lying you will be disqualified. Remember your fellow participants will be rendering the same services to probably the same people. So choose wisely and let the games begin!
I'm an EMT, not a miracle worker. No, I can't fix your sprained dick.
Of course drinkings involved. They don't call it alcoholism because we eat too many skittles.
God I need to stop before there's a picture of my dick on my mom's phone.
At least I remembered to wear a bra. I feel like that's a big accomplishment right now
well apparently i was just calling everyone cunts. then i awoke from my blackout to 3 very mad roommates who didn't bring a key out with them
well that's what you get for sleeping with a guy called 'the defiler'
He made me pay for half of dinner. Fucking feminist revolution.
Randomize
