Somerville?? What the hell are you going to do there?
Watch a movie and have sloppy make outs OBVI. 45 Harris St. in case I die.
I created a new tequila drink. it is a mix of excitement and fear instilled in innocent people.
I look like Roseanne just got in a bar fight with Rosie O'Donnell.
Her dress is practically falling off. It must know I'm here.
Just assessed the damage in the bath. Two love bites. One bruise on the inner thigh. Strange awareness of what i'm assuming is my cervix. I've definitely missed you. x
My dick just stopped my iPhone from falling into the toilet.
This is no lauging matter. Huge cock equals great sex. Marriage to huge cock equals great life.
the realtor just took us to a house I had a one night stand in. I feel like it's a sign.
I will miss his soup and his dick the most
well she hit her head and had a concussion. i had to make out with her to keep her awake.
I just saw a herd of slutty loofahs run down the street...
Wait, tell the rest at happy hour. I wanna be able to interrupt you with my loud cackles and stupid questions.
Bro I needs to be rescued in 30 mins...prfeebly someone died in a car accident needs to be the excuse
Sorry I wasn't opportunistic about sucking your dick in an Uber last night
Its a good night when you get to makeout with a cowboy
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