garbage
garbage dick
rubbish cock
you win
And Anthony pissed on himself at the strip club
This guy in church just had a prayer request to help him get through his hangover. He is my new hero.
due to concerns over safety, the theme of the 'naked fondue party' has now been changed to the 'naked fondue party with optional apron' please b.y.o.apron. extra prizes for most creative apron.
I guess I tried to spit on a homeless man on the walk home...Out. Of.Hand.
Apparently, I showed up wrapped in caution tape and immediately jumped on the stripper pole and started making very sexual gestures at the birthday girl. We lasted ten minutes.
You kept trying to throw the grocery cart off the balcony.
I don't know at which point last night turned terribly, terribly wrong, but it was somewhere around Motel 6, specifically the parking lot.
But he buys me breakfast and goes down on me THATS HARD TO FIND
I just don't fit in here. The other wives are ten years older and have kids!
Well, you chose trophy wife of a 35 year old over college. Sit in your suburban soup and stew.
Worst. Date. Ever. He peeled a layer of bread off his mini burger buns because they had "too many carbs".
Come share oat with me in your robe
I have no reason to put on pants anymore. This is my new reality.
Russell is lonely. He needs a companion.
You're lucky you have a monster cock or most people may just laugh at your penis' nickname.
My professor just told my lab he could drive us around town in his 1991 Lincoln towncar limo for our bar crawl. This just keeps getting better!
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