one two three fourrrrnication!
I HAVE FLAVORED BLOW. THIS SHOULD NOT EXISIT.
I woke up to the sound of a beer can being opened. I love him already
Let's turn this shoulder dislocation into a positive. Come to the hospital, bring some beers, let's party.
Swear to god this chicks brother got let out of jail for the weekend for the sole purpose of cock blocking me
There seems no grander way to celebrate 420 than to smoke atop a mountain peak.
Found out it was only pneumonia. We celebrated hydrocodone cough syrup. Two long island ice teas at lunch and the random white powder we found in her purse. Mother of the year award.
Hahahaha who is sleeping in the garage on our beer pong table?
So my mind was like YOU ARE TOTALLY GONNA MAKE IT TO CLASS TODAY but then my body was all LOL NO YOU AIN'T.
I just pictured my inhibition personified as little pink piggies with wings flying off into the great wide nowhere hahaha
While leaving the bar with another guy I told the bouncer I was sad his friend had a fiancee
You were drinking Everclear weren't you?
Still slightly drunk, sitting in Hyde park village. Two small children are dancing and singing "call me maybe" on the fountain in front of me. Am I hallucinating?
Somehow, you looked so classy chugging that bottle of wine last night.
I just discovered my new vice. Cotton candy vodka. Its like a carnival in my mouth, puking of the tilt-a-whirl included.
We're getting a bucket of chicken and screwing around, so no, you can't join us.
Randomize
