but really, i care about skinny girls as much as michael vick cares about rotweilers
just went trash diving in my work clothes for weed. A&E's intervention here i come.
I voted for him because his wife supports his raging sex life.
What ever happened to the whole 'innocent until proven guilty' thing. Like 'not pregnant until proven pregnant'. That's how it should be...
Its... i dont even know. theres lots of rap music and i cant find my shoes
I walked into your room and you had fallen asleep smoking a cigarette. You just had the butt in your mouth with ash all over your face.
As I was sneaking out of his house last night his moms lover was sneaking in, he held the door for me...
It's that moment where you find out the girl you've been dating for 6 months is a mob daughter. Post breakup.
Is it OK to disqualify a potential therapist if she lists 50 Shades of Gray as her favorite book? Or is that a good thing?
I still don't know his name but his ass is spectacular. Like he should never wear pants.
bitch i am allowed to be rude i just fought cold hard porcelain with my face
lost my vibrator and now I have to masturbate manually. The struggle is fucking real.
Wedding party came into the bar an hour ago. Mother of the bride is a stage five clinger. send help.
Now in listening to Jerome Bettis speak at the hall of fame and my boner just started twirling a terrible towel
I’ve been home 1 day and already had sex with my ex and got a blowie from her cousin and currently I’m getting molested by a cougar at the bar!!!! Plenty to give thanks for this year!!!!
Randomize
