woke up this morning wit a massive hangover. walked to my truck and found at least 35 for sale signs, a stop sign, and a julie kim sign...need answers
yea, you decided to become a real estate agent last night on the way home from the party. You started bitchin about how Julie Kim was stealing all your buisness....
why would she put his p in her m after it was in her a? that's gross
its gross she let him put his p in her a nevermind his p in her m after p in her v. cleaning up is necessary
i put my m on your v after my p was in your v. no big deal
I'm trying to decide if I want to bring home my 'beer champion' trophy or my chem books.
It was a rude awakening when I turned on my phone and the first thing I saw was a picture of David's dick with a face on it, I need to stop drinking in his basement...
On a scale of one to america, how free are you this weekend?
is it weird that I didn't think he was hot last night when I was making out with him but right now I'm Facebook stalking him and think he's really attractive??
your beer goggles are on backwards.
I thought he was walking around the front. I just hit and run my booty call. I'm the worst non girlfriend ever
He was spooning with the dog when I came home. Now shes afriad to go near him. Should I ask?
We smoked a bowl in front of the abortion clinic shouting Obama at the protestors.
I repeat do not go to a jail visit drunk, those stools are easy to fall off.
I met his parents. We played twister. My boob popped out.
When breakfast is a rum &coke at the office Christmas party you know it's gonna be a good day
You would critique a dick pic. Damn art people.
That chick keeps sending eggplant emojis
Welcome to dating in the digital age. Better catch up now that you’re divorced
and eggplant is code for penis. It means she’s DTF. Go get her tiger!!!
I don’t care if there’s a pandemic. My husband gave me a hall pass for my 40th birthday and I’m going to use it!
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