Hot guy, man whore rep, huge crush, alcohol that will fuck you up. I fail to see how this could go wrong
After 4 hours of foreplay he passed out and almost immediately peed in my bed. Naked. Like a fountain. Then tried to deny it in the morning by saying he just sweats a lot.
I swear it started with good intentions but then my slutty side took over and we started playing strip checkers
i'm surprised you didn't wake up. like i literally came when he was fingering me as i was spooning with you and all you did was mumble "that's a good idea, mom" and pull the sheets away from me.
No matter what I do you still love me. It's like loving a retarded kid. A retarded kid that keeps trying to sleep with you.
the only good thing about breaking up with him while naked was that i got to make a forgetting sarah marshall reference
We sang "Whole New World" in harmony and he spun me around. You may now barf from the cuteness.
Challenge: Try to have your balls hanging out in every picture you take tonight
Challenge Accepted
Bailey. He has a soul patch. Idgaf if he was an NFL player. Nobody with a soul patch is attractive.
I feel like i just got chewed up and shit out by a ukranian midget
I'm currently on a bowling date with my girlfriend and her boyfriend. It's pretty fun.
Beer. Pizza. Seething Rage. I will be full of two of these things tonight. You get to decide which two.
I want to start a guest book for my bed room so when dudes leave they can write a review
It's probably not a good thing when it isn't even 6:30 and I've already drank an entire bottle of wine. By myself. I'm watching Spice World and I just bought 2 Spice Girls albums off itunes.
Make that 3 Spice Girls albums.
You know you started drinking too early in the day when you have a hangover at midnight
thats called having FUN
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