K I think ***** turned off her phone. Guess I can't make her feel any more miserable tonight so I'm goin to sleep
he's the Salvador Dali of pubic shaving
i wouldn't be half as slutty if there were better things to do.
Its already bleeding so dont be alarmed after you bite it
I just realized i masturbated to the home shopping network. I either need to get a boyfriend asap, or a subscription to a porn website, or i just need to stop taking ambien
I want an alcoholic time machine so we could skip to new years eve
Im not moving so it's going to have to be a 3 some.
I'm drunk on a monday night. Not a good start to finals week
HELP A SISTER OUT. AND KEEP YOUR TONGUE OUT OF THE HUMMUS.
TOO HIGH TO FIGURE THIS SHIT OUT
Sorry my hands just texted you
Shit ive learned: when going out to a party, always wear a bathing suit underneath just in case theres a pool with a roof next to it
Idk. The last coherent text said something about $25 & dimes. And then...it's just letters...
I'm still high with raccoon eyeliner eyes and chocolate all over my face and chest, clutching a mug of wine. Happy graduation.
Maybe. I want to have sex at the fire station, most likely on one of the trucks. I wonder if I can finagle that before I tire of the spelling and grammatical errors in his texts.
I just let my boss bend me over his desk and spank me. I think that is some sort of American dream.
Randomize
