I want to have your abortion
You know the guy who poops at a party and then leaves and you go in, do your business, and come out and there are girls outside that think you pooped and no one talks to you? I'm the guy who poops before you go in, because I'm in a relationship and I hate you.
Fuck the gym. I just shaved m'cooch and my pants now fit looser.... Dont judge me.
Its kinda awkward hearing him say the food taste like ass considering what he did last night.
I have to keep checking she's breathing. This is why we don't drink on Sundays
Just gave a gay guy pointers on how to make anal not hurt. Reevaluation of life choices: in progress.
Oh and I found some acid for the drive back to school, productive day
Also, I think I'm too drunk to be at the gym right now. But how sober do you need to be for IM volleyball?
They wouldn't let me hang out the sun roof and sing apple bottom jeans in the drive thru of hardee's i think i no longer like these ppl
Dinner at my parents is vodka, lemonade, cheese ad crackers. Why would I leave?
Everything was cool till you started pissing while standing at the bar
I still have the video of you three making soup in my kitchen and asking random people for permission DURING the party, not after like usually
Don't remember, didn't happen
I HAVE THE VIDEO YOU DICK IT HAPPENED
no we just smoked too much weed and listened to the tarzan soundtrack. phil collins is amazing
i just used your hair clip to unclog my bong. i miss you so much!
I am drunk shake weighting right now.
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