New drinking game: drink every time the guy whose room we are in is creepy
enjoy the hospital
Contrary to popular belief, while 19 is an attractive age, it does not equate to sexual prowess.
they just started talking about wanting to bang stephanie tanner from full house
Banned from zoo.
Again?
There's a vagina buried somewhere in there.
Sandwiches are there for you when porn isn't.
They turned the water off again. Brushed my teeth with whats left from those pitchers of mojitos. So hung over i dont even care.
Last night he asked the cab driver "if you were in the middle of getting tattooed and the tattoo artist suddenly got a boner would you leave or would you get that boner??"
This is what my life has come to. Drinking champagne alone yelling at the dog because no one wants to hang out with me
Why is there broken glass in my purse?
You stole a snow globe. From your VP. Soooo...maybe don't put all your hopes on that promotion you were expecting
Think of all the island guys I could have. Ah well.
You can not bait me into a "how Stella got her groove back" call and response.
I accidentally told my mom "the reason I didn't answer your call is because my phone was in my pants, on the floor"
How does a face ride mean we're back together?
Came out of blackout state to the curtains torn down & the headboard laid on top of him. & yes he was still breathing
I hate csi yet I find myself watching a full marathon. I am also eating hotdog buns stuffed with barbecue chips and they are quite tasty
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