drinking colt 45 because lando calrissian told me to
So that's a yes to the cocaine usage and a no to the rollerblading
I am so stoned and my professor is handing out candy. I love Halloween.
It was only 12:11 and I needed to make a Pepto Latte and call it a night, I don't remember that being part of my new years resolution.
On the bright side his mom approves of me. Though it's apparently because she sleeps with married men and has a soft spot for "fellow homewreckers"
Do you think the neighbors will know I was the one giving out the penis shaped lollipops to the children?
Can she stop putting up all these passive aggressive statuses and please come out of the "I-want-to-be-a-pornstar" closet already?
The sign say "Kereoke" strip bar. 5 more beers and ill be ready to rumble.
Just got caught staring at a woman breast feeding. My only response was, "She's so adorable".
Seriously you have a sixth sense. You woke up out of a nap to tell us all to check the clock and it was 4:18. You're like the spiderman of smoking weed.
My dream of watching a live dick sword fight might never be realized now. Currently sobbing, shots to follow
I didn't want to have shaved for no reason, so I told him I'd blow him if he would just come over and appreciate the smoothness of my legs.
We have to do it Saturday and get a thirty. If i remember correctly it takes me 12 beers to become a wizard
Full body rubs, head scratches, foot rubs, massages, a penis that is able to get hard whenever you want it. I mean ive got a lot to offer
They got skeletons in the booths to enforce social distancing.
Thought they were weekend at berniesing that shit at first.
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