There is a man walking 2 goats through the city.
Bonus: only one of them was on a leash.
How's work?
Spinning.
Yeah but he's impersonating a gargoyle jumping off of everything. Including the walls.
I'm more concerned about the fact that I can't feel my gums
Not sure why I sent you a picture of a black bear last night but it seemed like a good idea at the time.
In the middle of having sex, she said "if we continue, we're dating." I then pulled out and sat in the corner, naked. I deserve a Medal of Honor.
I have six drafts of messages to you that just say "blood" and I have no idea where they came from.
Remember that time I tried to pierce your nipples while high... it's like that, only with more blood... and less nipples
they knew we were both to shy to do anything so they got us drunk and locked us in the back yard with a tent. it was fuck or freeze
you have the best friends
Dude, I'm pretty sure I slept with my TA's girlfriend
Used my brand new sperrys as a trash can to throw up in and woke up with someone's random key in my hair...new year new me:)
Besides, I'm booked tomorrow. I'm planning on drinking heavily and crying in the bath.
I swear to god he thought my ass was a bag of wine last night.
You go to class with the flu but don't go when it rains... Get your shit together
A young (I'm going to guess late middle school age) kid shouted at me from the crosswalk GAS PUMP OF SHAME! I have peaked in life.
Randomize
