i don't know how boys match. i think shoes & belt are the only thing. it doesn't matter. i just know if they look stupid.
i bet if teenage jesus was here he would do a shot with me
It wasn't a wasted relationship. I got road-head in an Escalade. I still keep that with me.
He came up there while i was bartending, ate a salad, told me he wanted to divorce me, then tipped me 10 dollars....
woke up this morning in the hall outside of my parents room with a sign taped to myself that said "im sorry"...
Stripperoke is exactly what it sounds...
Not only was there cake on the wall but someone shoved cake and meat in a cup and put it in the fridge.
I figured out plans for New Year's and by figuring out I mean I've got a sugar bowl of cocaine. Start at 10?
I got us a lift home. Payment may require me giving road head, are you cool just chilling in the back seat pretending to be oblivious to this happening?
She's wearing her dead grandmother's pearl on the married finger so no guys "bother her" tonight... I am not THAT committed to Girl's Night.
I'm eating your cookies as payment for having to listen to you. Happy sex
My tinder date wouldn't stop talking about the Star Wars movie trailer long enough to fuck me. HOW IS THIS MY LIFE?!?
Of all the kinds of relationships I've had in my life, I'd have to say, lab-partner-with-benefits takes the fuckin cake
Now with the essential back story, I can empathize. Sorry about your beer and butthole.
i just had to ask the gas station attendant what state i was in... winning at life.
im in missouri by the way.
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