you still trying to smash that chick?
it's a losing battle and she kinda sucks. been busy with school so not getting midweek drunk - she's nearly unbearable sober
Strip flip cup NEVER equals good idea
dear life, i get it, drinking is not a contest
mmm whisky
reminds me of losing my job
I woke up in my own vomit, a chunk of cactus in my thigh, shirtless, with jons mom poking at me with a glass of dr pepper and a talk about god....damn alcohol
Yeah we call her cincohandjabos because she gave 5 guys handjobs one night in 5th grade
It must be illegal for me to be this drunk in front of this many children
you can't wake me up at 4am to suck your dick and then give me a high five at the bar
If it looks really sketchy and smells like burnt pizza and pot you're in the right place
So..he has a girlfriend BUT she rarely writes on her wall and is only in 5 of his 371 tagged photos and her default pic is her with some other dude. It cant be serious
Oh my god you need to get off of facebook.
I will blow you tomorrow if you bring me food tonight. Like a payment plan
I'm not entirely sure that the guy that just texted me is not on drugs right now. I'm also not entirely sure that he isn't about to be incarcerated.
Facebook is for cat videos and having better lives than people from high school, period.
Well, you started screaming "I dont know you GO AWAY" to your mom when she was holding your hair as you threw up in her garden.
Showed up to pick her up in my boxers. Lets just say im 2 for 2 with this new idea
Randomize
