I'd rather drink alone in my closet than hang out with that girl
and she was petting her beer can
and i had to drink on "never have i ever unsuccessfully tried to seduce a virgin ginger"
I've awoken at 3am again, in a night terror, just thinking about how big his dick was.
I feel the need to clarify that I did not show her my vagina.
I'm confused are we getting high or did someone actually die?
Talk about an dramatic entrance, girl rolled up on a stolen bike and was wearing heels and a dress, through it on the ground and said "you guys want a bike?" Of course i jumped on that shit, any sane person would!
There are no female cereal mascots. I just realized that in my drunken state... So sexist...
Had sex in a cemetery last night during a thunderstorm. I feel like my goth points have skyrocketed
that almost beats the chick I saw smoking a joint while uni-cycling past my house at 4am. Almost.
I have one goal now that I am in the USA. To find a man I can fuck into marriage before my visa runs out.
He fucked me in one of the back rooms at the club then gave me an altoid. I have mixed feelings about it still.
I smell like Dick and happiness
I feel awkward having to tell people “sorry you can’t finger me because I will get a UTI and I don’t have health insurance”
College is really paying off. I am gonna be a great teacher. I just made a grading sheet for weed. This shit got an A.
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