oh my she just said cum sticks to her dentures so when she blows if they let her she takes them out
It was amazing what she could do with her one good arm.
After a valiant attempt at golf, I think it's time for Tiger to go back to doing what he does best- having sex w/ blond, white women.
He gets you donuts, dinner, and booze consistently, who cares if he's cheating
what kind of one night stand wants to walk you home in the morning? whole diff kind of walk of shame.
I miss the good ol days when id just come home from school and thered be a costco size box of condoms on my bed.
my parents really loved me back then.
Dude she said she'd let me snort a line off her ass now I just have to wait for them to break up
Is this one of those "if you didnt give such good head we couldn't be friends" moments?
I guess I could probably fit that in between deep self reflection and teenage mutant ninja turtles
PA to anyone at the party last night and wondering where your pants are: they are in my backyard.
We really shouldn't need this many nicknames for the women you've had sex with.
Woke up in a sombrero and a males speedo. Tequila makes normal peoples clothes fall off, however it makes me fall into a questionable identity crisis
I'll truly miss your penis but your use of words and phrases such as bae, yolo, swag, and totes have ruined how attractive you once were.
stupid neighbors doing stupid yard work with their stupid kids when i want to do drugs in the backyard
and eventually we just all took our pants off
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