John tries to set me up, and she has 1 arm. I'm a nice guy, but 2 arms is kinda a requirement
she's sitting on the other side of the room at this party. with her smirnoff tucked in that little opening between her cleavage and shirt. drinking from a straw. snapping her fingers off beat.
it's love
just got double teamed by two guys I will be on beach patrol with this summer. six months until the season starts and I'm already 'that girl.'
She makes me want to eat babies and throw kittens in pots of boiling water.
He had seven beers and tap-danced on the table like a pro. HOW DOES HE DO IT
I don't remember anything that happened last night past 10.. I made him buy me a Buckeye's Donut tshirt. I have no idea why he'd want to fuck me after that.
I went down on her for 35 minutes and didn't even get a handy. I've never felt more desire to be gay in my life.
I couldn't drink enough to fuck the friend, you said challenge accepted and stole some chicks shot.
It's not even close to Halloween but there is a girl in a nurses outfit. Twerk or twat.
She's too awesome to dump: she gives me great blow jobs and free Popeyes. You just don't burn a bridge like that.
I gave up great shower sex to be here so don't say I never did anything for our friendship.
Yeah ok. We can maid of honor each other since you don't like my boobs enough to lesbian marry me
I apologize for there being a shopping cart in the living room. I don't know how why or where i got it.
I found half a candy bar in my bra today... Melted to my nipple. What a mess. It was still good though.
For the love of all that is holy just take the tranquilizers Erica
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