We will have to stop frequently for food, stretching legs, interesting things on the side of the road, and sex. So you might as well eat.
why is there a picture of someone wearing Tevas with socks taped on the wall?
And we hooked up in the carwash. I told you our creative juices were flowing today.
It's like I paid NJ Transit $33 to suck his dick and go home. Fuck that.
I've really got to stop smuggling half full bottles of beer out of bars in my purse.
They didn't have a "sorry I was late for your birthday party because I was getting arrested" card.
arnt you supposed to become a mature adult when you move out of your parents house?
Moving out doesnt mean I'm mature, it means I can make pancakes and bacon at 3 in the morning and no one can judge me.
Packing a mid day bowl in the Sonic parking lot. Have I gone too stoner?
I'm willing to share. He can have sloppy seconds.
We made a pact to go to the nursing home together... that way we could stay high till the bitter end. Do you not remember?
It's a good thing vaginas don't have taste buds
I asked him to sing a song so he couldn't hear me throwing up as he was holding my hair
All the doctor said was why
I just had to explain my bite marks to my allergy doctor when she gave me my shots...You're the best <3
yes we're having sex but I'm texting you...so what does that tell you?
Randomize
