So today I found out that our school is known as the herpes school
I vaguely remember telling people they were not trash cans
2 v-cards in one night. impossible is nothing.
So she is eating her margarita with tortilla chips....like using her chip as a spoon
I thought that since they were twins... they would be equally as good in bed
no, didnt close...
What?! she made the first move and invited you back to her place. thats like striking out in t-ball pathetic...
Uuh, dude you came running out of the bar screaming you didn't want to hear that song, ran face first into a truck, spun around 3 times and hit the sidewalk. I tried to catch you.
Thats just a parental red flag. They have been brainwashed. Lets baptize them into the church of PBR
I mean I just feel if I'm not being fat and lazy then I'm not really being myself
Burritos, beer, and hot tub sex. Merry Christmas to me.
I would literally only have sex with a dinosaur right now.
Stole my 7th stop sign and 3rd speed limit sign last night. Not even sure how because they were bolted to a cement wall. Tequila gives you strength you didn't know you had.
He's got the good dick trifecta - flip phone, works outside, bed with no headboard.
I look over and the both of you are naked, and he's eating chicken nuggets off the floor
Remember that time we were together? Yeah, I don't miss that.
Randomize
