I no longer want to be the gay that plays in the revolving door at RelationshipDale's like a seven year old with a.d.d.
She sat on the stairs and yelled sex positions at us. I don't remember if we went along with it but judging by the beer and condoms I'm thinking yes.
the last call horn was blaring when I tried peeling you off the bathroom floor than you uttered "Ill take the toothless one.'
Last I remember we played rock paper scissors for who would fuck the guy with cowboy boots on and I won..
Fastest way to get judgmental looks on a Sunday morning: wear sunglasses inside carrying a case of beer and thin mints at the grocery store. May or may not have ran into the glass door.
Gotta love Minnesota
He's probably the biggest I've seen outside of the porn I vehemently deny watching and he asks if I think he's too small
So what are you going to be for halloween?
A woman sitting on her couch watching Hocus Pocus.
My friend had to carry her up the steps on his shoulder, and then she got up, found an ironing board and set it up in my friend's room just in case he needed to iron things.
Why do I have a wristband from the birthing center at the University of Maryland hospital....
I say camping because "let's go get hammered in the woods" sounds kinda fucking weird to be honest.
I would date him. For 1 month. Just so I could say I was a trap queen for 1 month.
I didn't have anyone to cheers so I tapped my beer on your fish tank... a little too hard
She's licking the vodka she spilled off the desk
Aaaaand now she's drinking it out of the shot glass like a cat
We've been here for 9 days, so of course I am high at my in-laws' house.
My vagina likes him more than I do, but I’m going to follow her lead and see what happens
Randomize
