We walk out of his house and his dad is there, so I had to meet him and shake his hand pretending that same hand hadn't been down his son's pants five minutes earlier
i wore my purity necklace wen we fucked. but its ok cuz simplified was blasting in the background
hahahaha. im glad listening to simplified justifies breaking ur promise to god
i wanted to sleep on a waterbed so i filled up my bathtub so i could fall asleep in it...
LETS GET FUCKED UP IN ONESIES TONIGHT.
I worry about you sometimes...
The meeting is at the same hotel we go to for sex. Avoiding eye contact with all the staff there.
Triple a is towing cars for free tonight and tomorrow night. Can we take advantage of this ?
We just had a sexually tense moment where we both chose the trough the pee. I love gay clubs.
HOW ARE YOU ALWAYS DRUNK? AND WHERE ARE TOU TRYING TO GO??
Cute boy and deffffff wearing a HS shirt. I am getting too old to be inaccurate.
Why is there a muffler in the livingroom?
First, I just want to say that I had nothing to do with it. Second, how good is your car insurance?
I'm giving you an age limit on the people you're allowed to hit on at steak n shake at 3 am. I can't see straight and I want a cheeseburger. You want dick. I'm sure we can't order at least one of those. But maybe.
Still slightly drunk, sitting in Hyde park village. Two small children are dancing and singing "call me maybe" on the fountain in front of me. Am I hallucinating?
Don't blame me. My vagina leads me astray.
he fell asleep naked and all I'm doing is staring at his weird balls
Sorry 4 always trying to rope you into my sexual exploits
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