Tell me I did not drive one hour for whiskey dick.
Tell me exactly where it said it wasn't a unisex bathroom.
I sent him a picture of my touching myself. He responded back "Your nails look really nice"
Is it bad that when I see babies I feel bad for them because its going to be forever until they are 21?
we just pregamed for our presentation... gotta love group bonding
no, no, no. omg. i said i wanted a SANDWICH! not a picture of your dick. damn cant you read? SANDWICH! now im blinded. great job.
We've been broken up for 7 months. His mom sent me a card with a brochure inside titled "How at Risk for STD's are you?"
He just asked me to pee through my panties while he watched. I might need more tequila for this one.
We spilled a whole bottle of mouth wash and then proceeded to roll around and make out in it. At least I smell minty fresh.
I am going to ride along with a cop tonight so please don't get arrested because that would be super awkward for me.
I'm out of town so we should be golden.
We were sitting in a hot tub debating how drunk we could get by osmosis if we kept spilling our drinks in it. This is what engineering college does to you.
i just teared up watching channing tatum in drag emerge from the fog on lip sync battle. it's gotta be PMS. either that or something is realllllly wrong with me.
Idk how much of a virgin he is but I'm tryna find out.
I'm too depressed to masturbate. This election is the worst.
I love Texas men! TSA agent found my vibrator, nodded approvingly, and said, “You have a nice night, ma’am” with a cowboy accent. I almost made out with him on the spot
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