i wokr up in ohio with no clothes. i think someone gave me ecstacy. can you come find me please it's cold.
checking your phone to see who you drunk dialed last night isnt as funny when you see you had a 17 minute call to your dad.
When i look at that picture of him, i'm a little proud to be like yeah, his dick was in my mouth saturday no big deal.
Its alot easier to hide alcohol when your wearing a toga..
everythings easier when your wearing a toga.
then he asked me if i wanted to "handle his wingman"
I'm more concerned about the fact that I can't feel my gums
its like the body should be a temple but we treat it like a kmart
I haven't found him passed out in the living room covered in noodles for a while now so I guess he's getting better with the drinking.
We are smoking a hash blunt ... Bring your emergency inhaler
Want a slice of this weekend's hottest piece of ass?
I was trying to get everyone to go to the bar but I puked on my hands, so nobody took me seriously.
I need a full description of the guy I hooked up with. I don't think I ever saw his face
he seemed brazillian..
fuck.
Normally, it will inspire me to work. Today, it's inspiring me to masturbate.
Dude I'm drinking alone and watching cartoons. How is it that someone as hot as me is doing this.
Just so you know, I choose to answer your bootytext tonight because it was the most creative.
Randomize
