it was nice. we just kind of hung out. she didnt even mention the farting incident.
bad: friday night i tripped and fell outside my dorm. worse: i just found out i broke my ankle. worst: i was shitfaced and don't remember any of this.
Id love to say been there done that but im a slutty drunk not a stupid one.
he was terrible at kissing, so i just kept letting him motorboat me. he seemed very pleased with my choice
first day of class and my professor asked me if i was going to come to class drunk all semester.
i'm duct taped to my bed with a condom in my hand. something went wrong
For looking exactly like her, she tasted less like her sister than I would've thought
you better take a shot tonight for every cat you have ever seen and wanted. this is a lot of cats.
We hotboxed his closet and accidentally lit some of his shirts on fire... do we have a fire extinguisher?
I. Did. In fact. Sprain. My liver. This. Weekend.
my math prof is telling us what to do in a gun fight. i dont want to live in oakland anymore.
The sad part is that if I don't get a random pic of your balls or ass or both every month, I start to worry that we're not friends anymore
The bald guy bought me a shot so I chugged it and then walked out to the middle of the dance floor and told an old woman that might be your moms twin to bend it over...We didn't end on a good note though. Dude she stepped on my vans.
Well his dad is my dentist so they've both been in my mouth.
I would eat the Denny's grand slam special out of my new probation officers b hole
Don't you hate falling asleep on the couch with a glass of wine in your hand? It's like dreaming about peeing and then realizing you've peed the bed only stickier.
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