I just got hit by a car. I'm fine; I'll be to the bars in about 15
Her boobs were tiny. I could have used her bra as a blind fold. Which in hindsight would have made things a lot better.
He cummed in my mouth, then said he had to go because his best friend broke his foot falling off of a balcony, put twenty dollars in my hand and was gone before I could even swallow...
I'd steal beers with my tail. If I were a monkey.
after taking her first shot and having her first random hook up she finally feels like she is ready for college
she has no idea
The timing couldn't have been better if I planned it. His mom walked away, I vomited in their mulch, and then his mom came back and offered me bread.
So howd u manage to get high at a one year olds birthday anyway?
Just made nicotine water. Ithink i'm having a heart attack.
I knew it was a good Wednesday night when I woke up tucked in to NOT my own bed with my beer helmet, an empty bottle of Jose, and a trash can placed in front of my face.. Happy 20th!
So I stappled myself into my toga... that should be interesting getting out of later tonight...
If you really loved me, you'd support my weed habit.
As the person who squeezed you out of my vagina, the answer is no.
That's not a current picture, because if you look deep enough into my eyes you can still see morals. Not these days.
It feels appropriate that the wallet of my high school and college years would die at the hands of a spilled bong. Which in and of itself is a solid metaphor for those years.
I have so much to do, no motivation, and Harry Potter is on. You KNOW whats taking priority in my life right now
Is there any chance of you maybe wanting a bouncy house at your wedding. Like maybe a .0001 chance. If so I would totally chip in for that.
Randomize
