and then I told her I was too drunk. She started to cry, and told me this always happens to her and that she thinks shes ugly. I pretended I was asleep and then she farted.
it was almost as awkward as hearing my parents on friday nights in 2 in the morning starting, and than hearing at 2:01 my dad getting up and my mom going "i should have married a man"
I hate myself for saying your mom and I have the same friday nights.
don't worry... so do I
it was really awkward, he kept trying to get on the bed with us and we kept having to kick him back on the floor.
I don't plan to be alive for 2010 so ima say this 12 hours early. Happy New Year bitches
In an unknown location. With a giant marshmallow stuck to my back. Hello breakfast.
It isn't possible and the very mindfuck of that concept gives me a lady boner.
I think that's mostly how we became friends.
Well that, and your desire to put your penis in me.
I told you you to bring something to share....you brought tequila and a condom
I enjoy the level of friendship we have achieved until you ask me to determine what may or may not be gentile warts via iphone pic
guy at the bar just asked how many cows we have on our land, then proceeds to ask me out. you know your from the country when....
She's got Mike in the bathroom. He's covered in meat.
just wanted to eat pizza off his dick so he let me and he can never forget it
The minute he showed me his Mumford and sons tattoo is the minute i could literally feel my pussy dry up
He made me ask permission to to cum and it made me cum.
Cops swarmed my car last night in the walmart parking lot cause of the paper plate
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