Hey theres a creepy ass guy stalking our house.i would look alive geting in 2nite.
I think my vagina is haunted
Transgendered man at work dawning a slutty batman costume. I hate Halloween
She whispered into my eat that she wanted me to fuck her while her parrot watched...
I think the main reason you were throwing up so much was the quart of soap you chugged trying to burp bubbles. you came close
I just realized I turned down a booty call too. To make cheesecake. God help us all
Feels like someone put a cigar out where my butthole used to live
he congratulated me on my ability to grow long hair after pulling it to see if i had extensions
Your mission, should you decide to accept it, is to pick up rum, beer, and cigarettes. Your holiday will self-destruct if you ignore this message.
Also, I had mind-blowing sex on a pool table
I've scurried myself in your trunk come find me in the morning
I burned my tit while he banged me and it was still the best kitchen sex EVER!!!
He's such a jerk. If only his penis was attached to someone else
Or is it distressingly heterosexual?
Just used a NyQuil cup to take a shot. This night is headed nowhere good.
Randomize
