i love how you can even make your typing come across bitchy
you busted in the room, ripped the covers off of us, ... and fist pumped
I knew she was going to get knocked up just by looking at her facebook pics
im failing my bio class b/c he booty calls me wednesday nights at 6 like clockwork
This is going to be another afternoon spent getting drunk in the shower, isn't it?
We were just talking bout putting on helmets and going fo a car ride just to see how ppl react. I will def fit in here haha
Look man, sometimes you just gotta say "Sure! Why not? I can always take a shower afterwards"
Novelty of the week: Getting my lipstick back in an evidence bag
Why did you load my phone up with pics of Al Gore?
It was at the same house, but a different party, when lesbians set me on fire. So there's that.
Wow. Last night.
I knew you were shit blasted when you called me your "sunflower queen"
I just took the batteries out of the xbox remote so she could replace the dead ones in her vibrator If that's not love I don't know what is
Did my roommate wake up in your girlfriend's apartment in drag again?
I asked him if we were going to get arrested for doing it in the bar parking lot. "Absolutly not" said the guy getting the blow job...
She bruised my penis again. But, trooper I am we kept on going.
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