Also, I'm sitting at a crosswalk watching two Mexican gangs fight each other. I miss you too. A lot.
do you remember what downloading porn with a 14k modem was like?
i used baking grease as lip gloss
she pinky promised me she was 18
The only thing that makes me want to stop the affair is that I am the Monica Lewinksy in this triangle.
I heard an explosion in the backyard. You told me you were playing "will it burn".
I take pride in being a married 31 year old who sleeps on her best friend's bathroom floor from time to time.
I told him we could fuck whenever was concurrent for both of us
He got in a shopping cart outside of home depot and insisted we push him down a flight of stairs. For science.
Thanks for reminding me of all the hookups my brain has been trying to suppress...
That's what friends are foooooooor!
She has no problem going ass to mouth, but won't eat the pizza crust. I don't get it.
You'd be proud. Took my birth control today at 12:30 with a Budweiser. Guy across the bar saw and held his bottle up to salute me 😂
I can say with absolute certainty the only time we ever had a civil conversation was when we agreed we both liked pizza.
If I could figure out how to do him with his wranglers on you would never see me again.
i dont think sending her flowers will make her forgive you running over her foot.
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