If he looks like a Gremlin DO NOT get him wet.
my roommate just caught me washing a dildo in the sink.
I've eaten ice cream, mentos, an extreme gulp and swedish fish today. i feel like diabetes. the actual disease not a person with it.
I think I just sat on my labia. Can I borrow some scotch tape?
Now you know why i just sit on the toilet and scream
Remember when we were mad at her for brining her mom on spring break? She just won the wet t-shirt contest. I think we owe her an apology.
And whoever invented the condom should be put to death.
She kept crying and asking why I couldn't look more like Dennis quaid.
she tied the funnel to the fucking ceiling...
Apparently I still called the officer "sir" despite the fact I was at a .21 BAC. Southern girls are raised right
Why did I wake up with condoms on all my fingers?
Considering the girl you hooked up with, I'd be concerned about not having one on your penis.
Somehow I've got the party rigged to where I get a foot massage every time someone wants a beer out of the fridge. Hellz yeah
Instead of asking him how many women he's slept with I just got straight to the point and asked how many Plan B pills he's purchased
HAPPY BIRTHDAY I ATE TOO MUCH OF AN EDIBLE AND TOLD MY BARISTA I LOVED HER
Legal advice please. Can you sue someone for jerking off to photos of you?
Randomize
