turns out the website for Dick's Sporting goods is not "dicks.com". It was a win either way.
I think she's a little more wasted than usual. She just crawled on the floor to tell mom it was time to take a shot.
I hurt. I blacked out in a onesie. Reevaluation needs to happen.
i mean, i stole her boyfriend and beat her snake score on facebook within 48 hours. not her week.
You did a strip tease for the toilet.
Btw, do you want me to fix this with a box of wine and a chick flick or is this more of a 'lets head to the strip club' problem? I'm just trying to analyze the emotional depth of the situation.
You made her yell her own name while you were fucking so that you would remember it in the morning.
I have the overwhelming need to take care of him. Both with my vagina and like emotionally.
Stay positive! You think people like sad vaginas? NO! You'll get some!
as I was leaving in the morning with his clothes on his roommate pops up and goes 'don't you dare steal that shirt, i gave it to him for his birthday'.
His pet bird was perched ON HIS DICK.
Is it in poor taste to drop acid before midnight mass?
I love this.
he said "i'm the cat whisperer, watch". he took a hit from the pipe, grabbed the cat and blew the smoke in its ear. he grinned and the cat started purring. it was magnificent
I woke up using a beer can as a pillow. successful party?
she wouldnt leave because they were playing One Direction. I'm dating a thirteen year old.
Randomize
