My penis looks like a roll of pennies
Oh. Ok. I get the hint.
Like a roll of pennies where the paper got wet & then dried all wrinkly and weird...
Enough with studying for finals. Time to put that my little pony coloring book to use.
had no condoms so I just made do with an empty doritos bag.
I dont know if he should be happy or mad about it but he's too big for a blow job.
I just really need a hug and a shower beer
Holy crap, church bells in Cibolo just scared the hell out of me. I'm pretty sure they were yelling sinner at me.
Omg this is like trying to sleep on a pile of ballsacks.
it'll be okay! And just think of this ultrasound as the most action you've had in a month...
Out of all the things you could eat off of my tits you choose lettuce? Thats so healthy. Yuck.
you called me drunk last night to talk about summoning sex demons with magic WTF
I think pants incapable of making pants work
I have to hand it to her. In my heyday I took home the 'biggest shitshow of the night' award 9 times out of 10. But I passed the torch on to her last night, and she went skipping merrily far and away with it into the enchanted world of aggressive alcoholism. Is this 30?
I wanna trust fall face first on a penis.
Sorry I threw up all over your Lyft.
It's ok I woke up next to a dumpster.
I woke up in a bathtub full of green and blue Nickelodeon slime! wtf?!
Randomize
