just saw someone puke all over a michigan fan. he didn't even flinch.
A 20 minute car ride back to your car with the girl u had drunk anal with is the most uncomfortable thing ever.
i woke up with "only hugh can prevent florist friars" written up my arm ... i need to know what we did last night
so literally, as soon as i tripped and fell and hit the floor the earthquake started. hows THAT for a self esteem boost?
You were yelling in my ear let's double team her with her right next to us
You kept hugging the big bouncer & feeling the other ones beard
You missed practice last night. You owe at least 8 hours of liver sprints.
I dont know about you but I'm not getting out of bed this summer for anything but food or sex
New found love of volunteering, when there's free wine available at all times. Good times. And I get to to feel good about helping people.
I consider any night I don't make out with someone a bad night. So I've been great.
Ryan got so drunk he gave a hobo $20 and I had to zip tie him to the bed so he doesn't out stupid himself
Brett got me a cake with a pic of me shitting
I woke up to his balls in my face, so naturally I limboed under him and headed to the bathroom. When I came out he was asleep on the floor.
Cocaine bath bombs are a really bad idea
Next thing I know her tits are out on my desk. It was straight out of a porno. What was I supposed to do I’m not made of stone
Randomize
