so i told him i have my period and he put his head by my vagina and said "I HATE YOU!"
its simple. when his lips are on my clitoris i want to marry him. when they are speaking i want to kill him.
You couldve had sex with 2 drunk chicks on an alligator slide.
I have some memory of taking a dump in a guitar case.
we decided it was best to cut you off after we caught you trying to "baptize" my cat in the jungle juice
How does me getting a new dildo make you crave olive garden
He could tell i had a fever by feeling my tits. He gets docter of the year.
I just hate that one day I'll have to tell our children how we met, makes me look like a gold digging whore
I need a priest, doctor, and therapist after this weekend.
You came walking in the backyard at 10am, in cowboy boots, a new shirt, and had no money,....we lost you for 15 hours....i think you just need a camera crew, or an assistant. IMPRESSED!
They had like literally all the dildos. It looked like a seance for dick. I left the apartment and haven't been back.
We did hand stuff while watching teenage mutant ninja turtles so I guess you could say it's getting serious
It got weird I got a phone call while looking at porn and the video started playing while on the phone full on porn audio.
The moral of the story is this:the last shot of the night is always a mistake
I mean we all knew i was gonna get arrested eventually but shoplifting is lame so dont tell anyone. Well just let them assume public nudity or something
Joke’s on you. I got to talk to a furry about why nukes are bad and why musicals are good.
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