please pick me up with an explanation of why i shacked in a trailer with a guy who doesnt have a car.
dude they were twins that means they were both only 17
CNN just did a special on how to do heroin safely.. I recorded it for us
she said my body looked tiny like it was a bad thing and then didn't even mention how great my tits look. it's like we're not even friends.
I don't know how I'm boarding the plane tomorrow. I have my car registration.
So i forgot that my head is completely wrapped in gauze, and tried to do the "come hither" look. He think's i'm brain damaged
First thought today, I need a ventriloquist dummy that looks like me. This week's project has been determined.
Dude. My cat just tried to bat the tampon string hanging from body. NOT COOL, SEYMOUR. NOT COOL.
Dude, nobody just eats a banana these days. This chick wanted it. She wanted to get down with Charlie Brown.
do you remember showing me a picture of your husbands penis last night?
yea! the mushroom one. i would only show you.
I feel like I've asked you "are you okay?" one too many times in the last 48 hours. You're hopeless.
Also, my aunt grabbed my phone and downloaded the scriptures. Apparently I need Jesus.
I see the guy who's been trying to get me to let him eat my ass became engaged on Facebook today; would framed screen shots be an appropriate wedding present?
That's crazy. Wow that lady must be fucked up
Yeah I hope she's okay.
I'm still going to fuck her husband but I do hope she's okay.
after that bj i gave him, i could fucking punch his mom and he wouldn't give a shit
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