i just had sex. the condom broke. we're sleeping in to separate beds. And im in albany
i just walked by a road side game of beer pong? it's gonna be a long day
Your sister got a Brazilian yesterday. It looks great
Thats how high i was. The fact that he looked like Seth Rogan was apparently a good thing.
2 am we went back to his house. his mom handed us beers and cooked us pancakes. the next morning his dad had washed my car. i lied. living at home after college definitely does not suck.
sex on the roof is not as easy as it sounds
Seriously. What did you do to me. You have a monstercoooooock.
I can't believe I just typed monstercoooooock. Twice.
You came into my room and started rubbing a banana on your face.
he puked all over my guest bed and the said he felt good enough to clean it up. he poured bleach all over the bed and passed out in it. he had the chemiacal burn for a month...
Just check with her if girls can get blown, that's all.
I mean, how am I going to build a relationship on trust if he finds out I roofied him?
Oh my god I'm in a public bathroom with a space heater. I never want to leave
Hey I'm at the gym and I need your personal trainer help. Also can you send me that picture of me eating a sausage. I want to post it on instgram.
It's difficult to focus on bonds when you know your classmate peed in your mouth
My Mini-Van Handjob Milf is leaving the company. I need to find a new job. I can’t handle this place without those handjobs
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