You know the guy who poops at a party and then leaves and you go in, do your business, and come out and there are girls outside that think you pooped and no one talks to you? I'm the guy who poops before you go in, because I'm in a relationship and I hate you.
Everyone is in jail. I'll see what i can do though
just masturbated through my pocket at the library. hope you're enjoying your saturday night out.
My parents foreign exchange student just walked in on me whacking off. Welcome to America :)
Not complaining, but why is there a Russian chick downstairs making latkes?
It felt like getting blasted with a supersoaker filled with vagina juice.
he was cumming and all I could think about was the pathway of sperm the in penis. thanks a lot nursing
I wish there was an emoji to express our Eskimo Brothership
When Vanessa's kindergarten teacher called me in because she was caught with her hand down some boys pants in the bathroom, I knew you babysat last week.
Gotta get dat. Gotta get dat. Gotta get dat dat dat dat dat ~uterus contraction~
how fucking stupid do you have to be to think I'm going to accept your friend request months after falling asleep during one night stand sex?
Yes. Life would be much easier if we had penises & could do whatever the fuck we want.
He tried to grab your ass, but he grabbed my hand cause I grabbed your ass first. I saved your ass..literally. Your welcome.
YOU CANT JUST BLOW GUYS BC THEY’RE NICE TO YOU LEXI
I CAN IF I WANT TO
Standing naked in my kitchen making nachos. I love my youth.
Randomize
