Are you seriously picking mariokart over a blowjob? nott to sound like a bitch but seriously?
Professor took us out for drinks. She said if I ordered the 64oz "Call a Cab," she'd give me an A. I drank it in 5 minutes. A+?
My mom just said we needed to put weed into our earthquake kit.
Soup is not an acceptable meal before doing that many Jager bombs
I don't remember how we paid for the cab. I do however remember giving him my heels 2 help with the bill.
My afternoon will now be spent googling genital warts. I think my life is over.
Also, not pregnant! Way to go uterus! Good job on being a team player!
Seriously what kind of college town is this? Nobody parties during the week or abuses perscription drugs
wow thanks for pushing me towards an older man
you gotta start somewhere if you're going to be a trophy wife
He wants to make me arch my back "like I'm having an exorcism". Not sure if I'm turned on or freaked out.
He just started dry humping the air... I'm done
If you sleep with him I will stab you int the uterus with a pitchfork.
Prepare the pitchfork.
If I'm legally allowed to go to jail than I should legally be allowed to tell a cop to fuck off. Basic principles.
Yea, but did you really have to throw a sandwich at him??
I feel like I had a successful night. I flashed the guy at the liquor store last night for 2 free tshirts and a giant redbull.
Grandma had me open the boxes that were delivered today. She got a sex swing, I've settled on "You go girl" as my official reaction.
Randomize
