shaved balls and baby powder=awesome
So yesterday I was on craigslist and I saw a listing for a sofa-cum-bed. I knew what they meant...
I woke up at 2 pm to my roommate checking my pulse.
She just took off her shirt and jumped in the kiddie pool. We're not leaving.
Bud light lime after 12 shots of vladdy is like frolickin in a meadow of sweet flavor
Sexting across continents is really a perfect example of how far technology has come.
i fell into a bathtub last night and broke the fall with my forehead. my forehead is bruised
Will keep you updated on the sexual orientation of my new guy
I just asked him what would happen if my boobs fought crime. I think I'm cut off.
Fall is here I will miss walking downtown in nothing but paint and pasties
I was planning out a scrapbook to memorialize my affair.......and that's when it hit me, I don't make good choices. On the upside, the scrap book came out great and I am glad I saved all the gate passes from the airport.
Made him watch 4 hours of HGTV then told him I was too tired for sex.
Savage
Stop calling my penis "Fat Jesus"
Such a shame we didn't work out. We would've been a power couple producing NFL linemen :/
It's been a week I should not still be finding glitter in my pants.
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