S and I had anal without a condom because I'm on my rag but he didn't finish. Should I still take Plan B?
I just spent all my babysitting money on red cups and beer.
People still let you watch their kids?
remember to ask your mom about the name of her pet duck so we can name the bowl
Don't be alarmed at the girl laying on your bathroom floor.
For my 21st birthday, I require a kiddy pool filled with vodka. Make it so.
You were outside the bathroom the gay guy was puking in, screaming "IT GETS BETTER!" over and over again. Good message, poor execution.
My girlfriend is studying for the MCAT by watching The Magic Schoolbus. There go my dreams of being a househusband.
That was awkward , having sex with her while her husband watched via Skype. I'm a porn star or a target. Idk
I'm only bisexual one week out of the month. Nothing like ovulation hormones to make the genders of my hookups seem completely irrelevant.
I didn't want to fight, I just wanted to tell you to fuckoff.
He sent me a dick pic. I am fighting the urge to send him a "sorry for your loss" card.
He couldn't undo my bra. He ended up breaking the clasp he clawed at it so long. We met on Tinder for God sake
I'm eating go-gurt and drinking beer alone in the dark. This is why you shouldn't marry young.
i just want to cuddle, make out and maybe have a boob grabbed but no. someone has to have mono.
How high are you rn
Well I just ate a cheesecake straight from the box with a fork and now I’m laying upside down in a recliner chair seeing if I can Uber eats Doritos
So not that high
Randomize
