SECOND walk of shame from the westside Hilton, SECOND foreign family w kids staring at me in my dress, glitter purse, spiky heels and booze breath. I said I was going to church. More confusion.
last night i used 411 to try and contact britney spears.
dollar well spent
I am so high I am beginning to unironically like Vanessa Carlton.
I tried to put a seat belt on in the shower. And I'm 80% sure I ate soap.
He had seven beers and tap-danced on the table like a pro. HOW DOES HE DO IT
No. I'm just saying it shows no signs of stopping. My dad was a man-whore well into his 50s.
I just look @ having a child spit on you as another form of birth control. I think my ovaries just tied themselves in a knot.
Correct me if I'm wrong, but did you let me pee in the grass while barking? And also, how many of you have videos?
Seriously, I am going to crawl in a hole, sew my vagina shut, and spit acid on any man that comes near me.
Yes ma'am.Im also looking at my collection of penis pictures in my email playing "who;s penis is that"?
I fell asleep on the floor again. i dont want help, just a pillow. its kind of nice down here.
i think i just asked a donut if it was ok
I just put bronzer on my abs to snapchat nudes. If that's not going hard I don't know what is
I'm having a funeral for my vibrator. Please be there. I need your dick for support.
Knowing how to carefully mix my vices has to be the #1 skill I've gotten from pharmacy school
Randomize
