you wouldn't even come home last night... Dead to me
The best feeling....farting and having the bubble hit your balls
I'm wearing this super skanky ass dress that's wayyy to slutty for church but I think Jesus will appreciate it because i look so bangin for his bday.
Home remedy for the herp. Black tea. I need to strap teabags to my wang.
This time, try to not get fingered in the middle of the living room.
I DIDNT GET FINGERED
I was rubbed
I'm sitting next to a ginger. She is decked out in olive green. Gingers fucking love olive green.
My fridge broke, and apparently the back is missing. The repair guy just fixed it with a pizza box. I didn't ask where the box came from, but it wasn't mine. Reason #20 why rent is cheap.
No worries. On my way home to get ski poles and wipe the sick off my face. Then it's time to get drunk in the park
I will refer to it as the penis of glory... he fucked me for 3 and a half hours - and all he needed was a 5 minute power nap in the middle (which he took WHILE INSIDE ME). I plan on staying with him forever
He's writing a strongly worded email to Trojan right now
I TOLD YOU THE BARESKIN CONDOMS WEREN'T AS RELIABLE.
Also, thank you for letting me cry in your lap on the bathroom floor. I can't remember if I was clothed at that point, but if I wasn't, extra thank you.
You still owe me a blowjob for knowing more about hurricanes than you.
So... I may have accidentally just sat on a strip of a home waxing kit.. naked... Assistance is definitely needed....
Is it weird that sometimes I like to have sex for the health benefits and workout more than the pleasure
just went home with a guy that made fun of me in elementary school. this blow job is not going well for him.
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