Fyi I let myself into your place, I'm wearing some of your clothes in your bed. Come take them off
We literaly had to peel your fingers off the jose cuervo bottle and lock it in someones room
It's the eternal vodka... it never seems to go away
Theres a freshman smoking a pipe on campus. This new class is setting a new standard we're not ready for
apparently it's a turnoff if you ask a guy why he thinks he needs to use magnums
Found a single cinnamon toast crunch between my butt cheeks. We did work last night
Water park on acid. THIS NEEDS TO HAPPEN!!
also i think i should join the bone marrow registration when im sober
Our foot and a bit height difference is kinda fun, except she's so tiny that after we ate burritos it looked like she was pregnant. I had a confusing bonner.
I don't know. She kept pirouetting across the kitchen while making dinner. I just sat there stoned.
I think if my mom ever finds out about my nipple piercings I'll just be like "mom, tbh it's a sex thing"
sometimes a perk of being a drug dealer is amazon gift cards. who knew?
I don't remember his name. I had whataburger on my mind and in my hands so I wasnt really listening
went back to my college bar last night. Bar tender doesn't remember my name but remembers me as margarita girl...I'm not even mad though
We should form a club for all of us that have stabbed a sibling with a fork!
Randomize
