I want to get laid tonight but my sheets haven't been washed since vomiting in them on Halloween :(
My dinner last night was 3000 calories of beer. Slept kneeling on the floor w/ my head on a couch
I love drunk self when he leaves a prepacked bong for the morning... in the bathroom.
Yeah i knew he wasn't okay when he told me he was "seeing his vision"
i promise ill be ok...btw im only considered "not ok" if i end up in the hospital.
I've decided I'm either going to ease him into this breakup by having a threesome with him and the girl I'm leaving him for, or be brutal and fuck his room mate. it depends how nice he is tonight.
It was weird. Like "Mom, Dad, here's a guy who knows my orgasm face".
My fall semester strategy is to submit my papers with a nude selfie
You've got post-grad studies written all over you
If they were bad they leave that night, if they were good they get a gold star, and if they were great they get invited back. Simple.
I am putting together a break up mix and its pretty much the best of Phil Collins
Do you guys think there will be a coke-for-Molly barder at bonnaroo?
I'm turning into an adult here.
Adults touch each other's special zones.
Don't worry, I'm not gonna try making you Eskimo sisters with your mom
This couple is walking their pig around campus
Our sex sesh was interrupted by a bunch of hobos fighting outside his apartment.
Randomize
